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KATIE
@katie__jameson

23,306 followers

Behind me is the tiniest patch of dirt, with some blooms starting to take shape. In March I planted poppy and sweet pea seeds, a couple dhalia tubers, I left pots of tulips with hope they wouldn’t get eaten, and weeded out as much as I thought I could handle. I called it My Therapy Garden, with that exact intention. I decided half way through my pregnancy that trauma therapy was too hard on me and my body while I was growing a baby - so I put my talk therapy to the side for a while, and began this. I grew tiny seeds in my garden alongside growing a baby in my tummy, and when Wally asked why the patch of dirt I turned over was so small, I replied simply “because I think that’s all mommy can handle.” Millie came, and the day I finally stepped outside in the yard after having her (7 days later) I saw the first sprouts of dahlias poking through the ground. I lined the boarder with marigolds like I do with all my gardens - a tribute to a friend’s daughter, that has become my own sweet balm. As Millie grows, my garden grows. After three nights in the hospital with her, I woke up exhausted to make coffee, and saw the first bloom on the tallest dahlia, rich and purple. I’ve noticed that this little patch of joy is growing slowly - but it’s growing. I don’t have a lot of time to coddle it, but every morning or evening I come outside to water it in silence. I give it a few minutes of my busy day, and my mind gets to wander… to him, to me, to whatever it is that’s drifting from here to there - between the space where we are together, and we are not. My therapy Garden is the cutest, tiniest, sturdiest, slowest patch of growing I’ve done in a while. Seeds take time. And so do I 🌱 #TherapyGarden #growing #LifeAfterLoss #LivingAfterLoss #infantloss #newborn #griefawareness #griefandloss #griefjourney #traumahealing #traumatherapy