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Maxime van den Dijssel
@maximevdd

27,241 followers

I haven’t spoken about this on here in a while, mostly because I had a pretty rough relapse while I was living in Barcelona (part of the reason why I’ve had to blacklist the whole city until further notice) and I’ve just been slowly doing the work I need to do to get myself back on track. If there’s one thing about my ED though it’s that it always massively flared up right before and while on holiday. Probably because for much of my recovery I relied heavily on the banality of routine to keep myself from relapsing - from religious meal prepping to 5am training wake up calls. So combine the prospect of being in a bikini with straying away from the comfort of my gym & bowls of meal prepped chili…. and well it’s pretty much always been a recipe for disaster. But after 5 years of hard work (and let’s face it multiple relapses) I’m finally at a point where I can confidently go on vacation, eat my body weight 8 times over guilt free & feel good about my body. It’s probably also why I take so many thirst traps - because when 2018 Maxime took photos of herself in a bikini, she would notice the remnants of what appeared to be a fat roll and would have promptly stuck 2 fingers down her throat in a desperate effort to make it go away. (Ps. yes these are random accidental videos I took while taking the aforementioned thrist traps) #ed #recovery #mentalhealthmatters #bodypositive #bodypositivity #athlete #weightlifter #transformationtuesday #gymgirl