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Nique
@im.just.nique

11,697 followers

Being valued wasn’t even a blip on my radar at one point. Being likable was what I lived for. And so I collected people. I had multiples of the mega Myspaces with 20k+ friends, created a social network with 10k members who joined purely because I asked them to, multiple Facebooks maxed out at 5k - I collected people. When I spoke, people listened. When I organized, people came. When I performed, people watched. It fed me because I was starving, and I was starving because my obsession with being likable was really just a front for desperately wanting to be valued. I placed expectations of love on people who liked me and got my heart broken every time. I tried to make forevers out of acquaintances. I cried over people who don’t even remember crossing paths with me. I had never been valued before, so I didn’t know who or how to qualify. I didn’t know where to find it. For some people, I was the best and brightest and for others, I was the most moody and confused. Objectively, I fall somewhere in the middle. We all do. I’ve made peace with being the hero in some stories, the villain in others. I’m able to be nonchalant about my facets sparkling differently across memories, across time, because I’ve finally started to value myself. I’m no longer obligated to give my time, my space, my attention to ensure I’m liked. I’m no longer a slave to public opinion, and it is such a relief. I’m still tired, but I’m not THAT tired. And now, being around people who don’t recognize my value is not an option. This is the first time period in which walking away has been option, and baby, I assure you - I WALK. I hope to see you beside me, but it’s okay if it takes a while for you to catch up. There’s room here. It’s peaceful. It’s worth fighting for. . . . #lifelessonslearned #blackwomenhealing #therapyforblackgirls #blackwomen #blackwomenmatter #carefreeblackgirl #blackgirlbloggers #dallasblackbloggers #blacklove #blackcommunity #loveyourself #selflove #valueyourself #begentlewithyourself #putyourselffirst #pentopaper #writeitout #writingprompt #blackgirlsblog