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@naomi.kawase
すっかり秋🍂 のイギリス南部の街で 息子とゆっくり過ごしました。 『No』と言える自分でいる と、言い切った彼は、なんだか随分母から遠くに行ってしまったようで、母も寂しいのに寂しくない振りはしないでおこうと想い、ホテルの部屋に戻ってから自分の中心にフォーカスすると、涙がボロボロぼろぼろと流れて止まらなくなりました。なんでわたしはここにひとりでいるんだろう。それは『孤独』とは少し違う感覚でうまく説明できないモノでした。それはながく尊く儚く刹那的な何かでした。なにをもってしても代えがたく唯一無二のもの。それをヒトは『いのち』と呼んだり『生命』と呼んだりして交換し合うのかもしれません。そこに触れ合って分かち合って助け合ったり寄り添っていたり、こんな時に近くにいようとしてくれるヒトのことを人生では大切にしてゆくことが豊かさと直結しているような気もします。わたしはこの命をこのヒトに分けてそこに在る。繰り返し繰り返し命はそうしてつながってゆく。そんなコトを久しぶりに心の底から感じて溢れた時間でした。 さぁ そろそろ 帰ります。 まだ少し時間がかかりそうですが 自分の映画を待っててくれる人に 逢いたいから Completely autumn🍂 in a town in southern England I had some quality time with my son. I'm someone who can say "No" he declared, and it seemed like he had gone so far away from his mother. I was lonely but didn't want to act like I wasn't, and when I focused on my center after getting back to the hotel room, a flood of tears came flowing and wouldn't stop. I wonder why am I here by myself. It is something that feels a little different than "solitude" and it is difficult to explain. It was something long, precious, fleeting, and ephemeral. Regardless of anything, an irreplaceable one-of-a-kind. Perhaps people go back and forth between calling it one's "life" and one's "biological life". Touching one another's life, understanding one another, saving one another, and getting closer, I feel as if taking care of people who want to be closer in a time like this is directly connected to richness. I gave some of this life to this person, and it is there. Repeating over and over, life continues to connect on and on. During this time, I felt that from the bottom of my heart for the first time in a while. Well I will head home soon. It is still going to take some time because I want to see someone who is looking forward to my film. #いつか #どこかで #逢おうね #ここにいるよ #someday #somewhere #letsmeet #imrighthere
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