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Meghan McCain
@meghanmccain

456,043 followers

5 years ago today I couldn’t possibly imagine how I was going to keep on living - the pain was so primal and raw and quite frankly I didn’t think the world could still have light without my Dad in it. Our lives were so intertwined, not only as father and daughter but with his legendary career in politics that he always gave me the privilege of being a part of and accompanying him. It was rare and weird, more than once it angered his older male advisors that he would heed my advice over theirs. I got to go to every town hall, more media appearances than I could imagine, presidential announcements, conventions, campaigns, meetings with diplomats, meeting people all across all of Arizona, VFW halls… I learned everything I know from him - politics, media, what Americans respond to, love of the game… All of it. I grieved very hard and very publicly. It was very different than most waspy political people. Some were very critical… however, to this day, the thing most people want to talk to me about is grief, death and giving eulogies. This is what I can say to those in the depths of the darkness of grief: be kind to yourself, scream, cry, get help of all kinds, reach out to friends, family, therapists - grief counseling saved me but it’s a process and be patient. You are not alone. Sometimes you really have to take it hour by hour, even minute by minute. Breathe. Live hard, love hard, laugh hard, fight hard, cry hard. The pain gets quieter but will never go away, that being said you do learn to live with the part that goes missing. It’s like a deep scar you carry with you and some days it hurts more than others. As for me, I hear him, I feel him, I pray to him and I forever miss him. Thank you all for being on this long, intense journey with me and my family. I am grateful for the good, the bad, the pain, the happiness and everything in between. Every single second of life is a gift and tomorrow is not guaranteed. Hold close to those you love, and as for me, today, I choose happiness because it’s what he wanted. I love you Dad, I know I will see you again someday. Also thank you for telling me to have children, you were right about everything. #FuckCancer