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Amelia Boone
@arboone11

110,347 followers

It’s been a rough few weeks. Would like to file under “sequence of events I’d prefer to not repeat.” But at the same time, I have never been more proud of myself. This is the longest I’ve ever taken off from training (just started swimming with a pull buoy a few days ago). In all of my past stress fractures I immediately started cross-training, doing whatever I could to try and maintain some type of fitness and really - to keep the eating disorder voices quiet. (including really stupid things like crutching for time and speed and other disordered things - please don’t do that). This time, docs said I could start cross-training from the beginning, but I chose not to. I know how cross-training can become disordered for me. I know how I’ve set healing back in the past by doing too much too soon. Like so many athletes, movement is one of the ways I process other hard and messy things that happen. With some other hard stuff going on, I’ve been stripped of that coping mechanism. So I’ve been feeling ALL the grief, without distraction. And it’s terrible but it’s necessary and I’m getting through it. I’m finding other (healthy) ways to process, and that’s HUGE for me. While this stress fracture is a reminder of the damage I have done to my body, how I’m handling this is a reminder of how far I’ve come. Just because something happened that reminds me of my past, it doesn’t mean I have to handle it in the same way. I’m ok. This will all be ok. #edrecovery #stressfracture