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@mmlittlee

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30 Aug 23 [#yangs2023khaoyai] :: 11 and tweening, our first-born declined our offer to a September school holiday trip! In his words, “You and daddy go on. I’ll stay in Singapore.” Shocked because they never allowed us to be away! A trip without the children? There was a tinge of excitement and fear in that thought. Faye sounded confident too that she’d enjoy her time at gramps with her 哥 and that got us booking our flights for a Collins Dictionary definition of a Holiday. Not an antonym all parents would otherwise refer a holiday to, “same exhaustion, different scenery.” A Holiday! On one hand, I was envious of every parent who could take off just like that and felt like we deserved it too! On the other, I was nervous about how much I’d miss the kids. “Oh gosh, I am having anxiety and heart palpitations! I cannot believe we are going to leave you behind? How am I going to do this without you! Are you sure you don’t want to come with? It’s a beautiful place!” I candidly poured my feelings out to the kids. While sassy Faye told me to “Chill mom”, empathetic Ewan promised he will call every night. The last few days leading up to our rustic trip to Khao Yai were extremely stressful. Maybe we shouldn’t have embarked on this journey at all. The guilt for burdening grandparents as we scoot off to relax is real. Is setting side we-time for ourselves that important? There were two luggages to pack: one for ourselves and another for their staycation. The mental load on both Meyer and I were very heavy as we sorted through all the things the kids [including Gypsie] may need, lots of reminders, drawing up of timetables, chauffeuring duties to fulfil, communication with the gramps and kids to ensure everyone are clear… After hugging the children goodbye as they head off to school on their own this morning, we continued to scramble in a mad rush to get to the airport. Arriving only 45 min before departure, the entire commute was ladened with anxiety. Meyer sounded out my sentiments exactly, “This shall be the last time we do this. Is it worth it?” I chose not to answer because maybe we might actually enjoy this. This could be much needed. #mmlittleetravels