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Dear NICU Mama,
@dearnicumama

46,264 followers

NICU parents experience gratitude deeply. We are grateful for every breath our children take because we know they are not guaranteed. We are grateful for every gram they gain because we know that growth is a journey. We are grateful for every snuggle because we have pressed our hands to plastic and longed to feel their skin. Our gratitude is instinctive and we feel it in our bones. It is a part of us. But gratitude does not automatically quell sorrow and it is not a miracle cure for grief or frustration. Trauma is instinctive too. It lives in our bodies like an inconsiderate roommate, reminding us of all of the things we wish we could change. In these painful moments we can feel pressure to “be grateful”. As NICU mothers, we know what it means to be thankful for what we have, and if that gratitude doesn’t come first, we are often left feeling guilty like we did something wrong. But NICU mama, you are not ungrateful when you are hurting. Feeling jealous of someone else’s story does not mean you aren’t thankful for the beauty in yours. Feeling angry that your journey isn’t what you pictured does not negate the joys you have felt. Grieving the experiences you didn’t get to have doesn’t mean you’re not thankful for the ones you have or did. Do not let shame whisper cruelties into your ear if gratitude does not heal every hurt right away. Your heart is layered and complex. And just as a cut feels tender as it heals, you can feel grateful and hurt at the same time. 💕 So give thanks for the good and celebrate all the moments that lift you up and lighten your heart. But do not feel ashamed if there are times you don’t feel like celebrating. Give yourself space to feel what you feel. Gratitude is still present, even when it is not center stage. Healing is lifelong. And sweet mama, you don’t have to heal alone. #dearnicumama #nicuawarenessmonth